Posts by gay pride

12

disfellowshipping and anger problems

by gay pride in

jw
friends

is it just me or has anyone here become a very angry person after leaving the organization?.

i mean in the sense where...you're more vulnerable to snap in a big way...like you've just developed so much anger inside you?.

for example since being df'd i think its created so much anger that i really just dont care.

gay pride

is it just me or has anyone here become a very angry person after leaving the organization?

i mean in the sense where...you're more vulnerable to snap in a big way...like you've just developed so much anger inside you?

for example since being df'd i think its created so much anger that i really just dont care. i get pissed and i'll beat the livin **bleep** outta someone. my roomate pissed me off and i punched a whole thru her door as she slammed it at the same time i was aiming to punch her face in. then i keyed her car, scrubbed the toilet with her toothbrush, locked her out the crib, and finally...rammed my car into hers! (i have 3 cars...two of them brand new 2006...the other one a 95...naturally i used the 95 to ram her car lol)

then i realized...man why am i acting stupid? my anger just gets the best of me all the time...a big part of me wants to relate it back to all the anger from being df'd. o yea...this whole thing with my roomate is cuz she tried to tell my girlfriend she cant pay rent this month cuz has too many bills. ...my girlfriend just shrugs it off like she's stupid and of course i gotta be the bad guy and do something. so she called the cops like 3 times on me already cuz she's afraid i'm gonna beat her a$$ or something. but shit...she can go the club 3 times a week but she cant pay rent?! you must be sick...ne ways...just wanted to hear feedback!

22

My boyfriend left me for someone else yesterday.......

by kittyeatzjdubs in

jw
friends

yep....'tis true....she's more entertaining, better looking, and apparently provides hours of ''fun activities''.

sometimes they get together with her one of her friends and play well into the night.... her name?.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. xbox 360 and her friend gears of war.. lol...he got the gow game yesterday and stayed up till past midnight playing.

gay pride

HEY MAN DONT LEAVE ME OUTTA THAT THREE-SOME!! I'M GAME!! .... LOL and i aint talkin bout that xbox 360 game!

<---o yea!

17

Do/did you have a nickname?

by greendawn in

i had one at school and fortunately it wasn't derogatory as they called me "the brainbox" because i was good at lessons.

gay pride

i got labeled "princess" ...stemming from "princess of all the congregations"

then it turned into "mamas" ...

now its just plain ol' crystal

53

Do you hate Jehovah's Witnesses?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

do you hate jehovah's witnesses?

since becoming a member of this board, it has often come.

gay pride

hate the hypocrisy within the organization...many contradictions. the teaching is what i hate. not the people who get caught up in the teaching.

26

lil ol' me

by gay pride in

jw
friends

hi my name is crystal...i am 20 and was disfellowshipped two years ago.

that was the hardest thing i have ever been thru in my life yet.. i was disfellowshipped for falling in love with and having relations with another female.

tried to fight it for a long time... but shit happens.

gay pride

i dont know if i've really gone thru the grieving process...at first all i could do was cry for like the first couple months. after that i refuse to cry. when it hurts i do something to keep my mind off it. when i hear a song that reminds me of old times i change it. i do everything and anything not to think about it. and for the most part i keep myself so busy where my mind just doesnt wander off into old times. so thats why i say i've become so bitter...bitter to the point that i wont shed a tear. i guess thats bad...but i dont like to go into depressions. so i do my best never ever tothink of it...got no pictures or anything with old memories as far as that old life goes.

18

I would love to hear from anyone who grew up in the truth and is gay

by Ragnarökkr in

jw
friends

hi.. after lurking for a number of months i have decided to join in and hopefully connect with a few people who will know what it has been like to grow up as me.

i left the truth a number of years ago for two reasons, one of which was my sexuality, which i knew to be unacceptable to my brothers and sisters.

since then i have alone in my isolation, hopefully through this site i can rectify that.

gay pride

hey how you doing...ya i'm a gay female...and yes it sux wen u grow up a jw and realize u cant do it no more

i feel you completely! same thing...always auxiliary pioneering! volunteering in the rebuilds cleaning and everything...they called me "the princess of all congregations" ...everyone knew who i was. all the guys were in love with me .... blah blah blah... yet... nothing ever appealed to me more than a fine female! lol! i had no one to confide in or talk to. all i did was pray... why was i so different?? why did i just love everything about a female... i tried to do everything to make me different...but u know what... u can only fight it for so long. i know this sounds really bad but o well its my life...

i was 16 and decided...fuck this. i dont care....im not gonna shelter myself. but livin wit my devout jw family i had to wait til 18 to move out n be who i was...i covered up good. i was the "spiritual sister" everyone looked up to.

i played ball all my life...i met this female on the courts...she was beautiful! she played ball too and was the first female who i met who i fell in love with from day 1! we both danced salsa and merengue and bachata and played ball and would always crack jokes! so...since she was wordly the only way i could really kick it with her was to make her come to meetings. she did out of her own free will....i had never told her i liked her. she became my bible study

my family loved her and all my friends...she was part of the group. a few months later...i could tell she was in love with me...more than a friend. didnt think that was possible cuz she wasnt gay at the time. i ended up being the 1st female she ever messed with.

so...left everything i had known for 18 years of growing up including my family to finally be who i was and free and out and oh it felt soooo good!

its worth it! it hurts to say goodbye more than you know....but i'm not gonna give up my happiness and someone i wanna spend my life with over beliefs and others beliefs including my own family. be who you are. dont let anyone change you. only you can make yourself happy! i had to leave the spiritual cover to finally say...this is who i am and i love it. feel free to email me if you wanna talk more!

we're both new on this site! love to hear this topic its really interesting with jw's!

26

lil ol' me

by gay pride in

jw
friends

hi my name is crystal...i am 20 and was disfellowshipped two years ago.

that was the hardest thing i have ever been thru in my life yet.. i was disfellowshipped for falling in love with and having relations with another female.

tried to fight it for a long time... but shit happens.

gay pride

thanks for all your warm welcomes....appreciate it.

maybe one day we can be a family again...highly doubt it but guess nothings impossible. i think i've gotten to the point where it just doesnt bother me as much. still hurts but i've learned to deal with it in my own ways.

as far as the ex friend...yea she's sick. i remember the last thing i told her before they were gonna make the announcement. she hugged me one last time crying...i broke down and asked her to please take care of my brother and be the best sister she can to him. i wont be able to be there for him no more. i said i was gonna miss him and i love him. just be there for him.

i guess she misinterpreted the be there for him as being take advantage of him. stupid hoe

15

Non-Witness in Love with Lesbian Witness

by Siraphina in

i'm hoping someone here can help, advise or councel me regarding my dilemma because i'm desperate and dying inside.

here is my story: i'm an out, non-witness lesbian in love with an active jw lesbian.

she's very much in love with me as well but her guilt as a result of her religion is emotionally devistating her.

gay pride

i am new on here too...i dont know if you will get to read this if you come back on.

i'm sorry 2 hear that she chose the religion over her love for you.

i had that same choice...i was born and raised a jw. i tried so hard to fight lesbian tendencies. i became friends with a female and we too were complete opposites which was so interesting for us and binded us together. i know exactly wat u mean! i too fell so in love with her i didnt know what to do anymore...give up everything i had ever known and my family not accepting me...or take that chance and share my life with someone i grew to love. i took that chance...and i'm not gonna lie it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life! thats actually why i came on here! its coincidental. its been two and a half years and we are still together. and i love her more now than i ever did. u know wat? witnesses are raised sheltered so to speak. they dont know anything else other than what was in their bubble all their life. thats why its such a hard decision. hopefully she will come around and notice that no...her life isnt all there is to offer. theres so much out there. and you let her taste a little of that. she wont forget that and maybe she will never let that go and come back. i had to do the same thing with my girlfriend and take a break for a few weeks and just figure out the biggest decision of my life...its life changing. i picked her. i really do hope that she made the right decision for herself. dont lose hope. i know its a hard time for you. im sorry.

crystal

11

Talking to a DF'd sister...

by SoBizzy in

jw
friends

i am not df'd and have not da'd, just faded the last six years - anyway i was remembering a time when i was about 18 or 19 and a very good friend that i had grown up with was df'd for fornication - well she was finally coming back to the hall to get reinstated and i hadn't seen or spoken to her for more than a year - so when she showed up at the hall one night i told my mom i was going to say hi!

remember, she was still df'd - my mom said i shouldn't and i told her i don't care - i had missed my friend and wanted to just say hi!

i said to my friend - "i just wanted to say that i missed you and happy to see you back!

gay pride

haha...this is a funny topic to me personally...

i got reproved soooo many times for not caring whether or not the person was df'd. i would say whats up to 'em at the hall..give em a smile...pass em a note.

but i never stopped talkin to 'em. always thought it was stupid. i'm not gonna judge that person!

i got counseled (countless times)...private reproof and public. but...never will regret makin someone feel good. i could only imagine wat it felt like then...but now i personally know wat they felt like now...sux

22

What were you praying about before you left the JWs?

by MegaDude in

jw
friends

i was earnestly praying to serve jehovah and give him my all.. in short order i found i was heading toward the unthinkable.

i was on my way out of the watchtower and the only life i had ever known.

pretty ironic.

gay pride

I was constantly praying to keep my mind clean and not have "gay" thoughts. i guess i just loved females too much. i was praying for him to take away my feelings for a certain female....

...the same female i ended up spending these last two and a half years with and going strong still

*starts singing*

"and isnt it ironic? dont ya think?"